Breast Friends

The Vogueite posted a rant against Lindsay Lohan's boobs a couple of weeks ago. He called them "granny boobs"! (love the way he calls her "Titsy Lohan" though!) And while I normally have nothing to good to say about Lohan... I'm about to defend her sagging pair!

Here's why i think the boobs in question are perfectly normal.

1. Lindsay is 21. She's 3 years past her biological prime. I don't care who looks good at 38, 41 or 53 in Hollywood cos we all know they have help. In fact, on one Oprah episode, boobs are considered sagging if you can place a pen under your boob and it won't drop. The last time I could do that was 18.

2. Lindsay has big boobs -- by my estimation, maybe a C or D cup. and I've NEVER met a pair that big that stand up on their own. Gravity does shit work and muscles can only lift so much. Even they get tired.

3. Lindsay has a fantastic plastic surgeon -- in giving her bigger boobs, do you realise how natural they look? I mean, fake books float. Hers doesn't. Also, look at that curvature -- au natural, baby! Seriously, only people who haven't seen boobs sans support would think that all boobs are created equal and gravity-resistant! You'd be surprised how boobs appear when they're left to their own devices. I'm almost tempted to believe Lindsay's big little girls are real. But we all know better, don't we?

I remember meeting Uma Thurman once and she said in her interview that in her pale yellow LV shift, she was showing off a little belly. "I've left myself go a little," she said. "But I'm in between movies and enjoying life." Man. I got to give it to the stars... when it comes to appearing in front of the camera, there's no holds barred and they'll do anything to have their body ship shape for the camera. But in real life, they're just like NORMAL people (Vogueite smites Lily Cole for having "normal people thighs" -- c'mon, seirously, shouldn't we have more realistic opinions on body types! Cole's a giant in height. Barbie doll looks aside, she deserves legs that can support her!)

While we're all supposed to look our best at 18, there are a few like Nicole Kidman, Victoria Beckham, etc, that SEEM to improve with age. But guess what -- it's all "enhanced". Nic's been out and about since her divorce to Cruise, and I think she's looking more natural, more beautiful but some think she's looking fatter, or uglier -- No more "bizarre body makeup" as per Karl Lagerfeld's alleged observation, perhaps? And VB, well, let's see how long those botox shots help her look the way she is. already there's talk about her cellulite calves!

Truth is, there's nothing like youth.